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Monthly Archives: September 2011

The GOP: Not Very Christ-Like

How can any Republican NOW, claim to be a true Christian?

This is what I’ve been asking for a really long time! How can you be a Republican today, and claim to be a Christian? In fact, the behavior of the GOP is NOT Christ-like at all. Quite the opposite. The biggest discrepancy is that the GOP want to keep the poor, poor. Oppress the poor/working poor. It is blatantly obvious ever since the GOP fought with every fiber of their being to make sure the rich, um excuse me, the ‘job creators’ got to keep their money by extending the Bush tax cuts. AT THE EXPENSE OF THE UNEMPLOYED. That is a FACT, my friends. The Republicans held President Obama and the American people hostage by threatening to NOT extend unemployment benefits to 9% of this country. I’m sure Jesus was very proud of that. Considering the teachings of Jesus and the bible they claim to love so much.

I’m sure God and Jesus would have said, “Very good, make sure those who have nothing, keep nothing. And those who have everything, make sure they get more. In fact, make sure the rich TAKE from the poor. Yeah, I’m changing my whole philosophy and message to ‘oppress the less fortunate’. So do NOT give any money to poor people, do NOT give them water, do NOT give them shelter, do NOT give them food. Make sure they suffer miserably. Make sure that on my birthday, all those children of the poor, do NOT get anything. They deserve nothing because their parents are nothing. Their parents have chosen to live this way, they have chosen to be poor so please, give your money to people who already have everything they need. Please. Do that.” – That is Jesus’ new manifesto, according to the GOP. I’m not lying. That is EXACTLY what happened last year.

But these hypocritical Republicans sure do go to Church on Sunday and pretend they live the life Jesus would have wanted them to lead. Jesus would have LOVED that the Republicans filibustered the bill that would have provided health care to 9/11 first responders.

Yup, Jesus was all about making sure actual heroes didn’t receive the help they deserved. Jesus would have been proud that the GOP, for years, used 9/11 to play on the fears of Americans, polarizing this country using 9/11 (You’re either with us, or you’re with the terrorists.) – I can totally see ‘You’re either with us, or you’re with Pontius Pilate.’ – Right?

I was watching the Tea Party debate and was just mortified at Rick Perry. What a dangerous guy. Do you really want a President who holds a ‘National Day of Prayer’ assembly? What happened to Freedom of Religion? I mean it is the FIRST FREAKIN’ AMENDMENT. Not everyone is a Christian. But that’s the problem with psycho, bible-thumping, Evangelical Christian Fundamentalist neo-cons. They think their God is the only God and everyone else is going to hell. Why do you think we were attacked on 9/11? For that exact close-minded thinking. 

I went to Catholic school and I remember Religion class, boring as it was, being about God’s love. Give to the poor. If you’re destitute, you give your last dollar to someone who is even more destitute. Am I missing something here? Truth be told, Jesus was a socialist. Oh my God he was a BIG TIME socialist. Jesus was all about giving, giving, giving. And the GOP want to take away, take away, take away. Take away government assistance, take away Medicaid, take away Medicare, take away food stamps, take away unemployment. Jesus really would have wanted all of that taken away from people? Really? He would have wanted millions and millions of kids to starve? People to die? Well the Tea Baggers do, that was proven at the debate when Wolf Blitzer asked if a hypothetical man should just die because he doesn’t have health insurance and the crowed screamed, “Yeah!” And not just one person, many in the audience started cheering and clapping. Would Jesus have cheered and clapped at that? Would Jesus have cheered at the notion that Rick Perry was Governor when over 200 people were put to death under his watch? Do you see Jesus whistling and hollering at that? I don’t think so. Republicans/Tea Baggers cherry pick the bible to suit their agenda. I don’t know of one group of people who are bigger hypocrites than Republicans. Do As I Say, Not As I Do.

I wonder how many Republicans wake up in the morning thinking about The Golden Rule:

DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU

That is NOT in the vernacular of the current crop of Republicans. In fact, it’s only half of it. The Tea Party and the GOP in the House has a new mantra:

DO UNTO OTHERS

This article is why I write this little diddy, very entertaining:

Jesus Christ Files Lawsuit Against GOP For Slander

Jesus Christ filed a lawsuit today in the New York Supreme Court against the Republican National Committee for what he is calling “egregious misrepresentation of his statements and image.”

One of the attorneys representing Christ had this to say:

“For years Republicans have proclaimed their love for and loyalty to Jesus, yet their actions are highly contradictory to what Mr. Christ preached. Instead of helping the poor and the sick GOP instead punishes the poor and the sickly.

Our client isn’t telling the GOP what their agenda should be, he simply wants them to stop using his name when their actions contradict everything he stood for.

If the GOP would like to continue using his name they have to start making a significant effort to help the poor and the sick, instead of the rich, and start promoting a more peaceful agenda.”

When asked about the lawsuit, House Speaker John Boehner made the following remarks:

“Mr. Christ is entitled to his opinion, however the GOP believes that the underlying message in the Bible is that giving tax cuts to the wealthy is the true path to happiness.

I don’t know where Mr. Christ thinks the Bible says to help the poor and the sick, but that sounds awfully socialistic to me, and we are not a socialist country.”

The lawsuit goes even further than just spoken word references to Jesus. According to the suit “images that inaccurately depict Jesus Christ, who was born in Middle Eastern country, as a Caucasian man with light skin, can no longer be displayed by political officials who claim they understand the Bible.”

Sarah Palin was at an event in Iowa today, and on camera, when a member of the crowd asked how she feels about Mr. Christ’s lawsuit. The crowd member simply asked her “have you heard that Jesus Christ is suing the GOP?”, to which former Governor Palin replied:

“Well, ya know, I don’t think Mr. Christ has a real understanding of what the GOP is trying to do to save America from the socialist death-spiral Obama has put us into.

In the Bible it states “work hard, and pull yourself up without any Government aide. If you need help from Caesar you are probably doing something wrong”, which clearly shows that Jesus wants Americans to hunker down and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

In the Bible it also states “go to the market and purchase good wares. Reward merchants with money, and God will smile upon you” which, I believe, shows that Jesus really wanted us to live in a free-market society.

Don’t forget the story of Noah’s Ark where God commanded Noah to build an Ark and take everyone except the poor and sickly away from people who were trying to steal their hard earned Gold.

Also, I’ve read the Bible plenty of times and I’ve never heard him say we should give welfare and food stamps to lazy people who don’t deserve it, which is what this Obama Administration is trying to do. They’re trying to make this country lazy and since Jesus was a man who did quite a bit of walking I would hope he would oppose such things.

Times have changed and I, for one, believe Christ is just confused and should probably re-read that most holy of books, the book that so many good, real Americans swear by, and just see, just really see, if he can get in there, ya know, and figure out if possibly he might have missed something. That’s what I would suggest Mr. Christ do.”

The media was quick to point out the many factual inaccuracies in former Governor Palin’s statement, but she fired back on Fox News today saying it was a “gotcha question” from the “liberal elite media”.

Mr. Christ’s lawsuit is set to move forward later this month. When asked if he would also be interested in filing a lawsuit for slanderous remarks made in the past, Allah declined comment.

 

 
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Posted by on September 17, 2011 in Politics, Religion, Television

 

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